James Mirtle posted a good chart that shows total man-games lost by team over the last 4 years. Check out who’s team has the 2nd-fewest man-games lost to injury. Ok, before you dopes fans start emailing me for help, its The Generalissimo’s team – the Oil Rangers!
This is no accident. The Generalissimo don’t care for sissies. The Generalissimo only likes guys who play through pain. Guys who will lose a tooth, stick a piece of gum in the hole, and back out there for his next shift. The Generalissimo was this way too. Go ahead and check out my coaching record – good luck finding a game I missed!!
It should be obvious why The Generalissimo wants guys who are not prone to injury on his team. Not ‘because its good for team chemistry, or for lineup stability…blah blah blah. Bottom line – the less guys get injured, the less time The Generalissimo wastes at work. Do you have any idea how much time it takes to call up a player from…wherever our minor league team is? The Generalissimo’s got a busy fishing schedule, people.
So before The Generalissimo signs any player – he takes him outside, and slaps him around a little, Generalissimo’s-Rules-style. If he cries, whimpers, or bruises – go play for the Devils, kid.
Think about it. You ever seen Wade Redden get hurt? He might play with the strength of a 9-yr-old girl, but that’s by design. He’s earning that $6.5 million contract people, trust me.
Now I gotta go make a few phone calls…I hear the President’s looking for someone who knows how to spend lots of money quickly.